Friday, June 13, 2014

On Soulmates

You hear a lot of talk about soulmates, how there's someone out there for everyone. Personally, I'm not a fan of the classical view of soulmates. The idea that there is only one person out there for you and that such a person is a fated lifelong companion for you seems kind of foolish to me.  People change over time, and in that time, so do their souls, their relationship needs, and even their lifestyles.

When I was first starting college in September of 2006, I was sure I had found my soulmate. We clicked on every level. 6 months later, we were planning our future for the long haul. We were engaged, we had definite plans in our career paths, planning for a life together. In September of 07, tragedy. My future shattered, and her future was no more. We never even had our first anniversary. Under the traditional view of a soulmate, that would have been the end.

 In April of 2008, I joined the US Navy. I had never planned on it, but failing grades and a life adrift moved me into that decision. I wasn't really planning on making it a career, but I wouldn't have planned against it either. Fast forward roughly 3 years and I met my beautiful and amazing wife. We now live happily married, saving up to move to a place of our own, while I work at a grocery store and we save what we can.

When I graduated high school, it never even entered my mind that I might, just 8 years later be raising two children, and planning to start a business. And that, in a sense, is my problem with the classical idea of soulmates. Our lives, and through extension our souls, change over time. As I see it, soulmates are not an eternal thing, we need different things at different times, and each change informs the next. Had I not had the situation with my first soulmate, my path never would have led me to my wife.

Our souls are ever-changing, ever-growing. We need certain things at certain times. At some times, we may even need to go it alone; for if we settled for the next best, we might miss the best when we're meant for them, all because we were trying to make it work with the knock-off. So, we must live our lives to the fullest, take the hits and roll with the punches. You never know, you might be destined for a story similar to mine. You may need to experience great loss to push you into your greatest gain.

 *Dedicated to my wonderful wife. May our story continue for many years to come.

No comments:

Post a Comment